Education Blog

5 Signs You’re a DC Area Helicopter Parent

helicopter parent - dcschoolhub

by Ned the Noodge, The DC area’s premiere pain in the butt when it comes to private school nonsense

The views of Ned the Noodge are his and his alone and do not necessarily reflect the views of DCschoolHUB and its employees.

If you Google top 5 signs you are a helicopter parent you get a least 2 screens of just that from some pretty great sources. I didn’t want to steal, so I only looked at one. I think these 5 are the most real, revealing, and frankly, funny.2af827fb8e506ffb065821c12e409331

1. That @#%^ teacher still hasn’t responded!! The last 23 messages in your email outbox are to your child’s teacher. You’re getting annoyed that even though your email auto refreshes to indicate a new email, you keep hitting refresh expecting a response to your last 6 emails sent between 6:19 am and 9:23 am on a Monday morning….to which the teacher still has not responded.

2. The rules don’t apply to you…and why should they? I have a tennis lesson at 4 and this car pool line is too long. I’ll forgo it, park, and go in to get my kid…better yet, I’ll call the front desk and have my child sent to me.  Chances are if you’re an entitled parent then your kid is going to be entitled. You expect to get everything they you deserve. You’re going to give my son the lead role in Grease and start him tonight at shooting guard.

3. You’re not doing your kid any favors by doing her work.

Your child’s 2nd grade class was given the assignment to create a visual representation of a place they would like to live:

               Cute                                                                                                Pretty Awesome

3757414-House-Kids-art-Child-s-drawing-with-crayons--Stock-Photo-crayon                their kid

[Helicopter Sounds]

smart-grid-model-city

 4. Your child is at his third school in 4 years. Why? We will let you pick:

  • Well, because the previous 2 schools were not a good fit.
  • My angel has a tough time doing homework and yet the teacher kept giving it.
  • The administrators were uncooperative when I demanded the other kid be suspended for bullied. (A fellow student giggled when her daughter said Abraham Lincoln was the first president)
  • My child didn’t get first seat clarinet in the band.
  • My son’s teacher tried to give him a snack with gluten!….GLUTEN!!!!!!
  • Charlotte (every young private school girl’s’ name) is so smart. If you think she needs a tutor you’re not doing your job!

 

5. You’re such a %#@$ you actually own a helicopter.

Bastow-family-helicopter-tour

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